Elders
by alphayamergo
Summary: Sandstorm, Dustelt and Graystripe don't want to become elders. Rather short oneshot.


**Inspired by a thread on Warriors Wish that was speculating who the 'unexpected kits' will be in SotM.**

**I do not own Warriors.**

It was a completely ordinary day. Completely. Except for maybe the fact that Ferncloud wasn't giving birth for once.

Sandstorm and Dustpelt didn't see it coming. The two senior warriors had been lying by the fresh kill pile, reminiscing the old days in the Old Forest. Graystripe joined them.

"What are you talking about?" the grey tom mewed, settling down beside them with a mouse.

"The old days," Sandstorm replied. She frowned. "Didn't you just eat a whole rabbit?"

"I'm still hungry!" Graystripe proclaimed, devouring the mouse in a few mouthfuls. Sandstorm rolled her eyes while Dustpelt stifled a _mrrow_ of laughter at her expression.

"Well, I'm going to get something else," the tom mewed cheerfully, standing back up. He started to pad away, but Sandstorm sank her teeth into his tail and tugged. Graystripe turned around, frowning. "What?"

"Sit down and stop eating or you'll get a belly ache," she mewed fiercely. Graystripe cowered in her gaze, much to her delight.

Firestar approached then, seeming stiff and nervous. "I'm sorry!" he mewed. "They made me do it!"

"Do what?" Dustpelt asked, confused.

"You refused to move to the elder's den one to many times!" Firestar burst out. The three cats stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Now!" a cat commanded, and cats from all round lunged forward as one, trying to drag them towards the warrior den. Sandstorm spun around, looking into the face of… Leafpool? Her own daughter was apart of this!

"You're grounded, missy!" Sandstorm shrieked, bringing her front paw down on Leafpool's nose. "No seeing Crowfeather until Leafbare!" Leafpool's eyes widened and she darted away, back to her den, sobbing her heart out.

Sandstorm turned back to the fight. Two more cats lunged at her – Brambleclaw and… Firestar? Oh dear StarClan, did that tom have a death wish?

Sandstorm simply stood and glared at the toms. Brambleclaw quivered. Firestar took a small step back. Sandstorm stepped forward. The two toms jumped back, both shaking openly.

"Boo," Sandstorm whispered. Both toms ran screaming, and Sandstorm swung around to face the newest line of warriors. Lionblaze appeared. _Oh crap it's that StarClan damn fearless warrior that's undefeatable._

Lionblaze, being super awesome, attacked Graystripe, easily tripped the fat slug, and got Mousewhisker to hold him down. He then proceeded to lunge at Dustpelt, who went down under flailing paws, and then he turned to her.

Sandstorm narrowed her eyes. Lionblaze narrowed his eyes in return. Suddenly Lionblaze's eyes lit up. "Jayfeather!" he yowled. The blind medicine cat pushed his way through the crowd to Lionblaze.

"Yes?" he asked innocently. Lionblaze nodded at Sandstorm. Jayfeather turned and narrowed his eyes at her.

Sandstorm took a step forward. Jayfeather also took a step forward. The Clan held its breath. They had always wondered about this, but now there was the ultimate test on who was grumpier.

Sandstorm's tail lashed. Jayfeather grumbled. Sandstorm muttered something about Spottedleaf, Cinderpelt, and stealing her man. Er, tom. For some reason, Cinderheart mewed, "Hey! At least I told him you liked him!"

…Cue awkward silence here.

Lionblaze took this opportunity and lunged forward. He knocked her to the ground and the two cats wrestled for a second before Sandstorm felt herself being dragged towards the elder's den.

"No!" she yowled. "Not the elder's den! Anything but the elder's den!" She could hear Dustpelt and Graystripe yowling similar pleas. "Save me, Firestar!" she yelped.

But Firestar's pride was still to wounded to help his mate. He sat in the corner with Brambleclaw, both wounding their injured egos. None of the Clan worried for them. They'd be back to normal tomorrow.

Sandstorm was suddenly dropped onto the den of the elders. Purdy stood over her cheerfully, while Mousefur narrowed her eyes at her.

Uh-oh. Looks like the elder's den isn't going to be bright and cheery anymore.

"Finally. you've come!" Purdy exclaims. "I was wunderin' when you'd ge' 'ere, an' it was a bit lonely wi' jus' Mousfur and meself 'ere. Do you 'ant to 'ear a 'tory 'ile you 'ettle 'n?" Without waiting for a reply, the elder continued. "'ell, you 'ee, I 'as 'nly a youn'un at de 'ime, and I 'idn't 'ow de 'angers of de 'orest, 'ee?"

Dustpelt, Graystripe and Sandstorm exchanged a horrified glance. _Noooo!_


End file.
